No, Really, iPad Critics: Just STFU!

*whining keen* Oh it’s not open! Oh it has no webcam! Oh it lacks USB ports! Oh it can’t run Flash! *whine whine whine*

I was around when the Mac was released. Back in 1984.

All of the gripes today have an irritating similarity to back then.

*condescending sneer* A mouse? I can use a keyboard! Who need icons? I can type my commands! Who wants to paint on a computer? *sneer sneer sneer*

Really, just STFU. You were annoying back then and you’re triply so today, over twenty-five years later.

99% of those Mac haters are now sitting in front of a box using a mouse and icons and windows. The 1% are the hardcore wanking at the CLI of Linux.

You people don’t matter. You’re techies. You’re plumbers. Your notion of what constitutes useful tech is the same as that of a custom car tinkerer who sneers at a Prius.

I sit here using a graphical web page interface to the WordPress blogging system. You would have me using something like vi to compose the text and then have me dick around with FTP for upload.

You’re simply irrelevant to the real world of people who look to tech to accomplish things.

You want openness and USB and even Flash? Go buy the Notion Ink Adam. Have you heard of it? It runs that “open” Android OS.

All the billions of electrons wasted on cranking about the iPad — where were all of you to wank over the Notion Ink? None of you posted about it. Because if you had, you would have referenced it to contrast it to the iPad in your whiny posts.

So just STFU.

The rest of us want the iPad because we can get excited and do things.

We want to have fun too.

And we want to do those things without wasting time trying to contort our products as a cheap exercise in ego-gratification.

You’re dismissed. Go away.

19 Responses to No, Really, iPad Critics: Just STFU!

  1. Eugene says:

    Haha. Yeah.

    How sad to watch ( or read live blogs about) the keynote of a company you dont like, to complain about a product you will never buy. These are not disappointed fans – like the people who slate pre-releases of their favourite comic book made into a movie. They were never going to like the iPad. They didnt like the iPhone. It didnt have the camera of their Nokia 1675Qwerz, now did it? If the iPad solved world hunger they would have bitched about the lack of flash.

    If you dont like a companies products, dont watch the CEO release that product live on the internet. You probably dont watch Ballmer, now do ya?

    • mikecane says:

      No, I didn’t watch Ballmer at all. All I saw around the Net at the time was a photo of him holding that slab with the ridiculous interface. I had to search on YouTube to see if there was a video and then I watched it and posted it for this. Other than using it as a weapon for stabbery here, I paid zero attention to Ballmer and his Tablet of FAIL. (I know hp built it, but it’s his — as he kept repeating — “Windows 7!!!!” on it.)

  2. “You people don’t matter. You’re techies. You’re plumbers. Your notion of what constitutes useful tech is the same as that of a custom car tinkerer who sneers at a Prius.”

    You realize the same can be said of publishing industry professionals lamenting death of and changes in same, yes? CEOs and Seth Godin and all those so-called social marketing experts are simply trying to keep up with us.

    What we are, of course, is anyone’s guess.

    “You’re simply irrelevant to the real world of people who look to tech to accomplish things.”

    The publishing industry is simply irrelevant to the real world of readers who look for stories to entertain/excite/inform them.

    Or, given Dan Brown, is it?

  3. MikeMc says:

    *whining keen* Oh it’s not open! Oh it has no webcam! Oh it lacks USB ports! Oh it can’t run Flash! *whine whine whine*

    Open? Meh. If it ran full OS X people would bitch about how sluggish it is. If they beefed up the processor people would complain about the price. For what is, primarily a content delivery device, the iPhone OS is fine.

    No Flash? How do you have the best browsing experience ever when huge swathes of the web are denied you? Flash is a resource hogging POS, as most Adobe products are, but it’s prevalent and HTML 5 isn’t.

    No USB? Bad. No SD card support? Awful! Want to dump the pictures from your camera to your iPad? That’ll cost you $30.00. That’s just cheap. Why wouldn’t you add SD support? So you can have the double benefit of selling a $30 dongle and push people towards buying a more expensive model to get additional storage instead of popping an SDHC card in that’s why not. Come on Apple,this is the first time in years I’m interested in one of your products don’t nickel and dime me to death here.

    • mikecane says:

      I’m torn over SD card support. The iPhone and iPad both handle files kind of like PalmOS did (which itself borrowed from Macintosh). Apps see their files. It keeps things very simple. When I add an SD card, I’m dealing with folders and directories and it can be a real PITA. See, when the SD card is added, that pretty and easy filesystem display breaks down. As for moving photos from a camera, I’m wondering if the iPad will be able to see an EyeFi-enabled camera? I’d really rather do a wireless transfer of pics instead of bringing along a dongle.

      As for Flash, I can live without it. I’m certain Hulu will do an app. Veoh and others have. And it won’t be too long before Apple jumps in with its own YouTube-like site, even if it’s limited only to those who have iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad.

  4. Ecrah says:

    10 out of 10 – Amen Brother!

  5. Me, myself and I says:

    This time, it is not JUST about Apple. It is also about keyboardless tablet computing.

    So if someone mocks iPad, you certainly should not assume that they like (or should like) some other non-pocketable keyboardless tablet, all of which have failed in the marketplace so far.

    • mikecane says:

      That’s one aspect. But most of them go on and on about “openness” and other canards. I haven’t seen them screaming about on-screen keyboards available on several Android phones. (At most, they say they had to use a third-party better on-screen keyboard!)

  6. Taxman45 says:

    Well said!

  7. Grady says:

    haha, yeah — world keeps turning, same arguments keep being made. I like the phrase “[being on] the right side of history.”

    The funny thing is that tons of the complainers will find themselves using an iPad or similar 10 years from now for the majority of their computing and won’t ever feel self-conscious about it. I don’t remember hearing any repenting from the “a Mac is a toy, who needs a mouse?” people.

  8. Kathy Sierra says:

    This says it all:
    “The rest of us want the iPad because we can get excited and do things.”

    We’re all looking at iPad to fulfill different “things” (i.e. fantasies), but of all the complaints I’m hearing about it, the one I find most surprising is: “Oh, it’s for consumption, not creation.” That’s strange to me for two reasons: first, it’s said as though “consumption only” is a bad thing — which isn’t necessarily the case if it’s an eReader/video/audio appliance, and second — because it’s just not true. While the iWork demo was quite brief — and the “Brushes” app was shown for just a moment — it seems awfully clear there will be many opportunities for creation right out of the box.

    No, it may never be the device we run FinalCut, InDesign, and Logic on… but those pro/media apps are tough to use on all but the beefiest laptops. And it won’t surprise me at all if at least some variant of iLife makes its way into iPad very soon, if not iLife than more third party apps that enable iLifeish content manipulation and generation.

    At the least, I can imagine basic image, audio, and video editing/remixing — even if you aren’t able to *capture* into the device, that in no way implies you won’t be able to DO anything creative with what you capture elsewhere and then move into the iPad.

    As for typing, I’ll either learn to adapt to the soft keyboard or–if I want to type my whole damn book on it at a cafe–I’ll use an external keyboard.

    People who do not appreciate the value of full-screen touch have probably never experienced it. One day, they’ll see (and feel). :) I have tremendous faith in the app developers to take us places we cannot possibly imagine, as they have done with iPhone (e.g. Ocarina) and of course — way back when — on the original Mac.

    Many do not realize that Guy Kawasaki was perhaps the first tech/corporate person with the title of “Evangelist” — the role he was given to try to convince software developers to create software for the original Mac — a device that had no users (at that time), very few resources, and… a GUI?! Compared to getting both developers and customers on board for the first Mac, this is pretty much a cake walk. :)

  9. Heartily agreed. I’ve even coined a term for what’s happened to all the ‘techies’ (really pundits).. they all been done FUTURE PUNKED: See here…

    I think we’ll see a lot of innovation, and 2015 will be a very interesting time;

    The only thing the iPad REALLY needs is MAYBE a camera and MeshNet. For the olds, nothing else will really matter other than ‘it works’ and ‘sharing’ (pics)…

    -Drunken Economist

  10. Not Apple's tool says:

    The saddest loosers are the hardcore PC fans (no pun intended) who drool over overpriced and overhyped graphics cards (among other things), but at the same time hate Apple’s products for being overpriced POS. And if you think that Steve Jobs is the god of hype, check out some Steve Ballmer videos on youtube.

    I’m a PC user and a gamer but I use a Mac(s) at work, so I have a pretty good view of what both ‘camps’ are capable of producing. These Apple hating jerks really have no clue what they are talking about. They can’t think outside the (PC) box and they prefer to remain ignorant.

  11. Marcel says:

    Internet nowadays is unthinkable without Flash. It is a major flaw in the Ipad and has nothing to do with being a PC or Mac guy. For that reason alone, I will wait for a better alternative.

  12. Marcel says:

    Actually I found the alternative for probably 2/3 of the price of an Ipad:

  13. […] to quote one of the best lines I’ve found from my five seconds of web research: They were never going to like the iPad.  They didn’t like the iPhone.  It didn’t have the […]

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