One Simple Question For All Book Publishers

January 3, 2010

Given all the twee pathetic whining that Jonathan Galassi, president of print publisher Farrar, Straus & Giroux engages in with his New York Times Op Ed: There’s More to Publishing Than Meets the Screen

I have one simple question: When the hell do writers ever get free of you bastards?

It’s already been established that after thirty-five — long long long long ever so long — years, we are by law free from your parasitic enslavement.

Are you going to whine like a crybaby after a business arrangement has been concluded that we owe you — what? — emotional loyalty or some laughably immature shit like that?

If that’s the best card you lot have to play, I’m going to have one happy time dancing on all of your corporate graves!


Reclaiming Your Copyright After Thirty-Five Years

Whiny Bookstore-Loving Hypocrites

January 1, 2010

You are!

Where do you buy your music? Online!

Where do you watch your TV shows and movies? Online!

Where do you watch your porn? Online!

Did you give a damn that record stores became extinct?

Did you give a damn when Suncoast Video went under as a harbinger?

Do you wring your hands at night over the fate of broadcast and cable television?

Did you weep for the X-rated movie theaters?

Just because you have a sick, nostalgic and unnatural fetish for an object called a book doesn’t mean you are anything except sick and retrogressive and, ultimately, ridiculous.

You didn’t cry when everyone else’s ox was being gored.

So STFU now about yours.

Where the hell was your voice over writers being screwed into poverty for decades?

Where the hell were you during the Google Books grand theft?

Where the hell are you today with Random House trying to keep writers locked up as their bitches?

I don’t give a damn for the object called a book.

You can round them all up and burn them for all I care.

What matters — the only thing that matters — are the words locked up in them.

You book fetishists probably don’t even understand that Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 wasn’t about books —

— it was about the words in them. [Update: See Ray Bradbury: Mike Cane Is An Eejit]

The hell with your books.

Give me the words.

Go cry yourself to sleep over your sick attachment to an object and leave the grown ups who understand the words matter alone.

Previously at Mike Cane 2008:

For God’s Sake, Get eBooks Going, Steve Jobs!

Previously here:

Seth Godin: No Power Buyers Equals Death
Two Down, One To Go…
Two Sentences From The Future
The Horror Of Paper Books
The Loudness Of Dust Settling

Is The Amazon Kindle An Outright Fraud?

December 28, 2009

Amazon Says Kindle and E-Book Sales Set Records said Monday that its Kindle e-reader has become the most gifted item in the company’s history, but didn’t provide specific sales numbers.

Boldfaced emphasis added by me.

This is the game Amazon has been playing since the introduction of the Kindle. A “Look over there!” game of misdirection that smells of outright fraud.

It’s well past time for Amazon to put up or shut up.

Honest companies don’t continue to hide something like this.

Honest companies show transparency.

Honest companies understand that real numbers are related to real shareholder value.

What is Amazon’s game here?

Is it the standard Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt ploy? Put fear in the minds of your competitors, put uncertainty in the minds of book publishers, put doubt in the minds of eBook device buyers?

Listen, it’s been claimed that Dan Brown’s blockbuster The Lost Symbol sold 200,000 eBook editions. But that was available in multiple formats. Plus we’re not even certain that number is either truthful or accurate.

Doesn’t anyone realize what an absolutely crappy sales figure that is given the hype the Kindle has gotten since its introduction?

Sony slogged for years and years and years, plastering ads all over the place — and managed to sell “only” 300,000 Readers.

I put “only” in quotes there because compared to the non-existent number of Kindles out there, that’s the impression left in comparison.


We have been through a decade of outright fraud as noted in this New York Times column by Frank Rich. The fraudulent invasion of Iraq, the fraudulent hype of Enron, the fraudulent low-interest mortgages.

I’m saying until Amazon releases a true number, it smells as fraudulent as the rest of those, period.

And all of you publishers in New York City? It’s time for you to grow some balls.

I’m giving you a task: The first week in January, all of you issue a joint press release stating what your largest eBook sellers have been on the Kindle.

I have a feeling all of you are going to be shocked at the low cards you’ve been holding, while thinking your “competitor” has been holding a high card, making money hand over fist via Amazon Kindle Store downloads.

Do it!

Let’s end this stench one way or another.

Writer Ursula K. Le Guin Nails Authors Guild

December 23, 2009

In her resignation letter, this is the key sentence:

And now you have sold us down the river.


Now where the hell is the rest of the membership to overthrow the sellout bastards?

Previously here:

And You Will Trust Google With All Of Our Books?
This Is Print Publishing’s Final Warning
Mark The Words Of Dave Winer
Sergey Brin: Also Absolutely Inexcusably Clueless
Google Thinks It Owns Our Books!
The First Step Towards A Google Book Search Solution
Google Always Had POD Planned
God Bless Marybeth Peters Of The Copyright Office!
Google Books Settlement Notes #2
Tomorrow: Google Books Settlement Deadline For Writers
Cooler Adds Google’s One Million ePubs Of Crap!
Google Books Settlement Notes #1
Google’s Great Writer Rip-Off
Google’s One Million eBooks Of Crap!
The Capitulation Of Print Publishing
Reject The Google Book Search Settlement!

Apple’s Two-Faced Censorship At Work Again

December 22, 2009

I’m just stunned this is in the App Store:

Sex Position interacts with you to select new positions, then offers a few pointers. With it you can create the variety that’s the “spice” of a great sex life.

At one point, Apple was blocking eBook apps because they could access the Kama Sutra on public domain eBook websites!

And now Apple is permitting screenshots such as this:

Read the rest of this entry »

Harlequin 451

December 5, 2009

New Title: You Never Know With People Who Have A Different Gender

Previously here:

Future Staffing At Harlequin
Harlequin: Saving Readers From Writers
Writer James Hadley Chase eBooks Coming!

Future Staffing At Harlequin

December 5, 2009

Blessed are the conservative in Bible translation

CHARLESTON, W.Va. — The Gospel of Luke records that, as he was dying on the cross, Jesus showed his boundless mercy by praying for his killers this way: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

Not so fast, say contributors to the Conservative Bible Project.

The project, an online effort to create a Bible suitable for contemporary conservative sensibilities, claims Jesus’ quote is a disputed addition abetted by liberal biblical scholars, even if it appears in some form in almost every translation of the Bible.

They’d fit right into Harlequin’s twisted Editorial Department!

And get this:

The best of the public is better than a group of experts.

I hope that’s the kind of health care you wind up with, you imbecile. Your swift death by the hand of likewise incompetency would improve the human race!

Previously here:

Harlequin: Saving Readers From Writers
Writer James Hadley Chase eBooks Coming!