How Corporate Drones Are Killing America

OK, now that the headline is cleaned up enough for people to use as a link, let me tell you what the actual post headline is:

How Corporate Bitches Are Killing America

Every winter, I go on the same frustrating task: searching for packaged hand warmers.

Four years ago, I could find them at KMart. Then they disappeared.

Three years ago, I could find them at CVS. But not all of them.

Two years ago, I could find them at a very few Duane Reade stores. But only a few of them.

This year, a local Rite Aid had them. Then the stock went.

This morning, being a regular customer there, I went in and asked one of the employees — who is also one of the Managers.

This was the conversation:

“Do you have any of those hand warmers in?”
“No. Sold out.”
“Will you be getting them back in?”
“No. We only get them once. They’re a seasonal item.”
“That’s nuts! It’s still winter!” (It’s in the low 20s here today!)
*shrug*

That man has been castrated and been reduced to a Corporate Bitch.

This is what the conversation would have been like had that Rite Aid been a local store with an actual local owner:

“Do you have any of those hand warmers in?”
“No. Sold out.”
“Will you be getting them back in?”
“You know, I hadn’t thought about that. If you still want them, I’ll order some in. It’ll take three days, though.”
“That’s fine! Order them. It’s still winter!”
“I’ll get on their website and place an order right now.”

This second way is the way America used to work.

Local stores with local owners could make their own decisions based on what they saw as what their customers were wanting.

This poor castrated Corporate Bitch had to do what headquarters permitted.

And if HQ said, You get one box and that’s it, how could he argue with them? What does he care? He’s a Corporate Bitch! He’s sold his manhood in exchange for a paycheck that expects him to only follow orders.

All of this coalesced in my head, the cause of the ongoing ruination of America, by a bit of graffiti I encountered near the ferry terminal this morning.

Someone stuck up an 8.5″x11″ paper with this printed on it:

Someone is counting on you

And I thought: My god! That’s it! That’s what all of us have forgotten.

When we don’t do our jobs right, when we neglect a task we’re supposed to carry out fully, we are setting up someone else for trouble we don’t foresee.

A security guard at Newark Airport leaves his post. This gives a guy the chance to go through the unmanned security checkpoint the wrong way. He’s noticed and the alarm is sounded. Thousands of people at Newark and across the entire nation — due to flight delays — are affected by the negligence of one person. Because he forgot that someone is counting on him.

How can any of you live with yourself, being a Corporate Bitch?

Is the conversation at home something like this?

Child: “Mommy, what does Daddy do for a living?”
Mommy: “Daddy is a Corporate Bitch.”
Child: “What does that mean?”
Mommy: “That means Daddy does what he is told no matter how stupid or hurtful it is to other people.”

Do you feel proud being a Corporate Bitch?

Let me really stab you:

Child: “Mommy, what’s a ‘corporate’?”
Mommy: “A ‘corporation.’ That’s something that’s make-believe but which has more rights than people who aren’t make-believe. Why, corporations have the power to make real people starve!”

Whenever you read of one company being acquired by another, realize this: that means there are going to be even more Corporate Bitches in the world, because one more boss has just been put out of existence.

And despite being a Corporate Bitch, you should remember two things:

1) Someone is counting on you — and it’s not your corporate HQ
2) It’s 2010: Give Some Back

Try to regain some of your dignity.